echo

I sat on my bed the other night, sleepless, tired, and frustrated. My heart was pounding unconfortably, way too much, as if suddenly I was scared of something, or someone.
Sometimes, I realize how dumb it is to feel as if you're missing something, or forgetting something and don't remember for days that that is wrong. I've learned to fear this moments, 'cause even when some of them might be accompanied by exciting events, my mind has learned that sooner or later I will find out something is wrong.
Tonight, it was different. I was scared of me, scared of standing still, scared of what I've done, and what I didn't do, of my thoughts, of my desires... scared that I'm wrong and that I was never right.
The fact is that I go around saying I'm gonna fight for what ever it is I want, and I realize that right now, at this moment, in this second... I don't know what I want.
I've been standing still, in the same place, sort of floating in a place I can't step out from. And now I realize why I'm here... 'cause being afraid of possibilities I've been too fearful to take on to risky situations that would expose whatever weakness I possess.
I have made up my mind to confront all the things that I think might pull me under a rock. I've made up my mind.